That Cold November Ra-ain ...

S's concern for his Schwinn continues.



I pulled into the driveway the other night when I was getting home from work. It was raining fairly hard, and I was surprised to see S on his knees in my neighbors parking spot. This was surprising for a couple reasons. First, I've never actually seen him outside of the house before. I mean, I know he leaves, I've seen him walk out the door ... but this is the first time I've seen signs that he has actually been off the property.

Second, this was surprising because of what he was doing. I had to look twice, but to my surprise, he was wiping down his bike chain with paper towels. I guess he didn't want his 30% reduction in efficiency to become a 40% reduction. One problem. He was wiping it down, in the RAIN! He did put the tarp on it when it was done. Of course, the tarp has a big old rip in it.

PS: I've always said that S's one redeeming quality is his timeliness with rent. Unfortunately, it's the third now. No rent yet.

Over the River and Through the Woods ...?

No, that's simply too much work.

On Wednesday, I asked S what he was going to do for Thanksgiving, since it was the next day. He responded, "I'll probably go to my Grandmother's house in (city 12 miles south of here)."
"Probably?" I asked. "Well, it depends on the weather. It might rain, and I don't want to get my bike wet, and if it's raining too hard I won't want to walk to the train."

Fast forward to Thanksgiving. We leave to go to my aunt's house at around one o'clock. Megan looks at the clock and says, "Should we tell S that the train is on the holiday schedule today? Maybe he should get out of bed." I know, yes he was still in bed. I responded that there was no way he was going to grandma's.

We got back from dinner around 9 P.M. When I came in the house of course S was standing in the kitchen. I said, "Lemme guess, you never left the house, and disappointed poor grandma." (I want to note, it didn't really rain.) He said, "yeah, I didn't go anywhere." I responded with guilt of course. "What did poor grandma say when you called? That's so sad, she had an empty seat at the table." His response? "Oh, I probably should have called, but she probably figured I wouldn't come." Well, if she's smart, of course she knew this, but come on ... it's a holiday. He couldn't get over his end of semester "stress" to go see grandma for a day. He's truly pathetic.

Love shack ... baby?

S recently told me that he was interested in one girl in each of his classes at school. I managed to not laugh out loud and told him that was good, and had he done anything to pursue it? His answer? "Well, I ordered a 50 pack of condoms over the internet."

First, let me say that I'm certain that God does these things to punish me. I'm certain He wanted to torture me to see if he could make me laugh. Well I didn't. I may have lost a year off my life, but I kept a straight face. I said, "Fifty, eh?" He told me he was trying to think positively, that he'd need 50, not two. So I asked him more directly, if he had expressed his interest to any of these girls. His reply was that he hadn't yet, but he was thinking about how to do so. I told him to be direct and say, "Hey baby, just ordered 50 condoms, thinking we could use them together." He looked like he was considering it.

Fast forward a few days. Megan breathelessly says to me "Oh my God, S just asked if he could ask my opinion about something. He then told me he was interested in a girl in one of his classes, and how should he approach her? They used to look at each other, but it was meaningful, and I feel a connection." My first thought was, "from a safe distance would be good." Megan told him to talk to her before class or after class, and ask her if she wanted to get a coffee or something. Let me remind you that this is a 29 year old man that we're talking about.

So it has been several weeks since he asked Megan about all of this. We've asked him once or twice what's going on. There is always some excuse why he wasn't able to talk to her before or after class. She now keeps her hood up and doesn't really look at him anymore. I think she's trying to avoid smelling him, but who knows, maybe he just missed his chance. It's comforting to me that the condoms sit in a corner, unused.

Bike Chain .... RUSTED!

I've mentioned S's fun little bike before. He really loves his bike. He takes it quite seriously. The other day I came home to find his bike up on the third floor back porch. I came in the house and asked him if he had given up on the concept of riding the bike to school for the season. He replied that his friend who works on bikes told him that leaving the bike out in the "elements" was a really bad idea, and that the chain will rust. When S heard this he realized that the bike had experienced a 30% reduction in efficiency. He said he has to peddle much harder than before.

I thought it was really funny that it took someone else telling him that the bike wasn't efficient for him to notice anything, but as soon as someone did the bike wasn't up to snuff anymore.

I left, and when I came back later the bike had moved back to the bottom of the stairs, chained back to the tree where he usually keeps it. One thing had changed, though. The bike is now covered with a pretty gray tarp. You'd think it was a motorcycle, or corvette, not a used, single speed bike.

Bang Bang, on the door baby!

S recently left a passive aggressive note on the back door of the second floor people's (SFPs) condo.

Apparently the banging of their door when Mr. SFP leaves for work in the morning was too much for S, and woke him up every day. I'd imagine that when you sleep for 20 hours a day, pretty much any noise will do that. Maybe that's just me though. He then eavesdropped when they got the note, and the two SFPs had a conversation about how loud Mr. SFP is or isn't when he leaves at 5 AM. Did I mention that S wears ear plugs when he sleeps?

My new laptop is scheduled to be delivered today. My doorbell is rather loud. Anyone want to bet he sleeps right through the UPS guy ringing the doorbell and I have to spend the next week trying to track the thing down?

The More things change ...

... the more they stay the same.

Came home the other day. Lights on. Get out of the car, look up at the windows. Lights on. See S's face appear in the window looking down. See him dart away. Get to the top of the stairs, all the lights are off, including the one in his room, and there is no sign or sound of him. I'm starting to get offended. I don't think we saw him for 3 hours after that.

Yesterday, same story. Get there, no lights on, no sight of him. We were there for six hours, and assumed he wasn't around. Go out around 6 PM to get a calzone, leave the lights on because we'll only be gone 10 minutes. Come back, all of the lights are off, including those in his room. We're there for another three hours, no sign of him. So from noon till 10PM yesterday he came out of his room for not more than 10 minutes, and apparently slept all day long. It's SO strange.

I'm wondering what would happen if I sat in the living room and watched TV for 24 hours. I'd try it, but I'm afraid he'd take care of his bodily functions in his room.

That reminds me, actually. I couldn't deal with the grossness anymore. I cleaned the toilet yesterday. There was stuff growing in it. Now, I use it maybe once or twice a week. He uses it every day. He's never cleaned it. I also wonder how bad he'd let it get if I refused to clean it.

The toilet paper is almost gone. One roll left. I'm not buying another one. I want to see what he'll do. He's been there since June 15. He's never purchased any toilet paper or cleaning supplies. He may not know how. (See coffeemaker operation) I'll report back.

And so it ends ...

I received the following today. The funny thing is that I actually saw him yesterday. I guess I can call the exterminator and fumigator. Of course, I may have to rename this blog.

"Hi G. I think it's time for me to be moving on. It's not my cup of tea here. I think you can understand. I'm planning on moving by Jan. 1, maybe as soon as Dec. 1. Just wanted to let you know. - S."

Not exactly a shocker. He's been leaving notes about apartment listings on MY desk for the last week, and cruising craigslist on my computer, mostly looking at apartments, but occasionally at "casual encounters" focusing on "group action." I hope he doesn't plan on hosting.

He's also recently taken to hiding whenever we go over there. Last night, pulling in the driveway the living room and kitchen lights were on. By the time we made it out of the car all the lights were off and he was in his room. This is a fairly regular occurrence. We left the house at a little after 10, and he sent that e-mail at 10:29.

I can't wait to de-smell the place.