It works how?

Like most people, I have an automatic drip coffee maker. It's actually a pretty nice one. You can see it here. S, neanderthal that he is, has lived on instant coffee from the microwave. You know, flavor crystals and all. Gross. So I showed him where the Dunkin Donuts coffee is, and told him to feel free to use the coffeemaker. He did, and hilarity ensued.

S: I tried the coffeemaker.
Me: What did you think?
S: What a pain in the ass.
Me: What do you mean?
S: It took forever to just make a cup of coffee for me.
Me: Huh?
S: Yeah, it took like half an hour of me pouring the water in, letting it run through, then lifting the lid, and pouring it on the grinds again, and letting it run through, and it took forever for it to get dark enough, and hot enough to drink.
Me: Are you shitting me?
S: No.
Me: (Laughing)
S: What?
Me: (Laughing with tears by this point)
S: WHAT?
Me: OK, let me show you how this "AUTOMATIC" coffee maker works.
S: OK.
Me: (Lifts lid) See this big open compartment in the back, with the numbers at different heights?
S: (quizically) Yeah?
Me: That's how far you fill it with water depending on how many cups you want it to make. Then when turn it on, it takes the water from there, up through that hose, heats it to temp, and drips it onto the coffee, making a full pot in 5 minutes or less.
S: Huh, I wondered what that part was for back there. That's pretty neat.
Me: I just want to tell you, fair warning you know, I do HAVE to tell Megan about this conversation.
S: OK.


People, I wish I was making this stuff up. It's simply amazing to me. I pray to God that he never asks me where babies come from. Maybe I should add this picture to the kitchen cabinets. (Thanks to the office sign project.)